Thursday, November 30, 2006

What about Earl?

Hello all out there in blogger land. I have decided to rescue some old blogs that I had in my myspace account. It seems that the blogs disappear when you create new ones. I am not being lazy, I just want to save them from total distruction. They are good in my opinion, otherwise I wouldn't have put it down. So, over the next couple of days, I will be posting these and they might be outdated but I want to save them anyhow. But this one is a personal experience that I want to share. Enjoy.

It's funny how the human brain locks in certain memories and events and other things it purges. For example, I can retain useless knowledge no problem. Facts that will never help me in any way unless I get on a gameshow that all the questions pertain to such things. But I would have to study my butt off for a test and sometimes forget answers on the test. At any rate, this story came up because the old brain has this stored and filed. Of course, members of my family have this locked and stored away as well.
I was about 14 and we were on a family vacation. We had rented a cabin in Tennessee. The little caravan of people that went on this outing was Dad, my step-mom, aunt, my brother, my lil sis, grandparents and my cousin. So, to say the least everyone listed (save for my sis) remembers this fateful day. The only reason my sister doesn't know this is because she was too young to remember.
It all started at lunch that day. Dad had grilled some hamburgers for lunch. And from what I remember they were dog gone good cause I had 2 or 3 of them. Along with some baked beans and chips. But I wasn't done there. Grandma had opened up a watermelon. I got me a slice and that was really good. So, I got another slice, then another, then another. Then Dad had to ruin everything by putting a curse on me, "Son, you are going to get sick eating all of that."
Pfft. Get sick? Me? Never. I never got sick by eating too much. I have a cast iron stomach. At least I thought.
We done a few activities that day. We hit a few stores in Gatlinburg, played a few rounds of putt-putt golf and basically stayed out all day. We returned to our base of operations and my stomach began to rumble. I skipped dinner for I was still full. Later on we finally bunked down to go to sleep. That's when it hit.
My stomach went to churning. It felt like an alien was trying to bust out my gut. Then my stomach did the sound that I didn't want to hear. It was the warning sign that you are about to hurl. If you ever had to hurl, you know that infamous sound. It's like your stomach gurgles it's contents before it spits it out.
I made a mad dash to the nearest bathroom. Which would prove to be a tremendous feat. I am half asleep and my brain had kicked in survival mode. I was no longer control of my body. It knew where that bathroom was however it ignored the fact that there were walls that I needed to get around. I am trying to fight and hold back the leaking dam, so-to-speak. And it being pitch black dark, I am half asleep, and me hitting every wall and every object along the way was not helping. Then finally, like a shining alter, there was the bathroom.
Just as soon as I opened the toilet lid, here came the flood waters. I hated the act of puking but then again it was making my stomach happy by purging the contents. It went on for awhile and then finally stopped. What a relief. I cleaned up and washed that nasty taste out of my mouth. Then I went back to bed.
I awoke the next morning and did my morning routine (brush my teeth, get dressed, etc.). Nothing was said about last night. I thought for sure that I awoke everyone in the cabin but evidentally not. Cause I know that Dad would surely have fun at my expense but no. At least that was what it seemed. Later on that day, Dad posed the questions, "What about Earl?Are you bringing Earl with you?" Earl? Who is this Earl?
When I responded in that manner, Dad continued on, "Yeah, Earl. You were talking to him all last night it seemed. You kept yelling out Eeeaaaaarrrrllllll."
Ahhhh...there it is. I knew Dad wouldn't let me down. It wasn't "Son are you ok?" or "Have a rough night last night?". Nope, we have to turn it into a joke. Ah, well. But I will have to admit if the roles were switched. I would do the same so I can't really blame him. After he made that comment, everyone started laughing. So, indeed I did awake the household with my late night antics and Dad had already preped the family of the constant ribbing I was to recieve. And of course, for the remainder of the day, that's all I heard about...Eeeeeaaaaarrrrrrrllllll.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

I don't know about you....

...but I love and hate stupid people at the same time. Now, I know we all have our (as Carlos Mencia puts it) dee dee dee moments. There are times when we let go the notion of better judgement and our caveman intellegence comes out. For example, I seen a man dressed in a business suit with a wallstreet journal in hand touch a bench that had a sign on it that said wet paint. Ok, the sign said wet paint and was surprised to see that paint was on his hand after touching the bench. Now he looked like an intelligent man but a case of stupid just hit him and rendered his intelligence to almost nothing.
Now, I have my stupid moments myself. I have done plenty of idiotic things in my life that are probably too numerous to mention. But there are those that are in that mode 24-7. These are the ones I absolutely can't stand. Now, you just don't have to do dumb stuff like you have seen on Jackass to be a complete moron. They do that stuff willingly and knowing (you assume) full well that the outcome will involve pain or disfigurement. Stupid people do it not knowing the outcome and have no idea why they done it. Most of these people can be found in politics. For example, let's take Dan Quail. You remember him right. He was the vice-president with the first George Bush. And let's take one of his more famous screw ups...the spelling of potato. He tried to correct an elementary student that had it spelled right. He put an "e" at the end of potato. Yes, it is funny at first but then you get to thinking. "What a darn minute here. He is the vice-president. How did that idiot get that high up in politics?" And it pisses you off.
On the other hand, you have people like the one in the picture here that made a couple of poor choices to end up where they are at now.


I mean look at the poor guy. He chose to drink...alot. He passed out and was around some great friends. Ok, now that is stupid. Stupid on the part of the friends...no. The guy passed out is stupid for one getting so sloshed that he was out during the whole painting ordeal and just being passed out around other drunks that will do stuff to you while you are passed out. Now this stupid is down right hilarious. I like stupid people like this.

Or take this other one as another example. About the same situation. You drink so much you pass out and are completly oblivious to what is happening to you. However, this is by far more creative I think. Just for the pure fact you have to wait for this joke to happen.


I don't know why but stuff like that crack me up. That is why I love and hate stupid people.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Another Public Service Announcement

The new Spidey 3 trailer is out. And it is better than the teaser trailer. I went into geek overload when I seen it. You need to see it if you have not. A good download of it is currently on ifilms. Quit reading this and go there now. Then come back and comment on how good it was. For you are dead to me if you have not seen it. GO NOW!! Don't be dead to me. Here just click the link...

http://www.ifilm.com/presents/spiderman3

There..now you have no excuse. Later taters.

Public Service Announcement

(Click on the pic to view it. I don't know why it's not visible. Just click it already.)


This is a public service announcement just in case you didn't know or wanted a better idea of a sonofabitch. It's an epidemic that must be stopped. Now that you know what to look for, it is your job to either stop it or laugh your butt off. The choice is yours.